“A Virtuous Mother”

Thursday, May 05, 2022

Years ago,  I drew the assignment to teach a Ladies’ Bible Class on the subject of motherhood. I felt imminently qualified! After all—I had a mother! I had also observed my wife being a mother to my two children. Now, all I had to do was to go to the appropriate verses in the Bible and I could advise all the mothers in the class on how to do their jobs better!

Naturally, I turned to Proverbs 31. "The Worthy Woman." Even as I announced the text, a young woman in our class audibly groaned. Her reaction surprised me. She was a very faithful and dedicated Christian. She was a preacher’s daughter and a deacon’s wife. She had two pre-school-aged children and was working a part-time job outside the home. In the eyes of many—she had it all and did it all!

When I inquired about her reaction she said, "whenever I study that passage it makes me feel like a failure." Immediately, the rest of the class chimed in! "The expectations are too high." "The work is too demanding." We don’t get any help from our husbands!" "Our friends who work outside the home look down on us." "Stay-at-home-moms get stuck with all the volunteer jobs at school and in the church." All of a sudden, I realized just how unqualified I was to teach this class. It was exactly the reason that Paul instructed "older women to teach the younger women." (Titus 2:3-5) You can study it in a class, but until you "walk the walk" you really aren’t prepared to "talk the talk."

In the years since I have grown through the study of scripture and of life to more fully understand the importance of the role played both by mothers and fathers. There are several things about Proverbs 31 that need to be understood for it to be fully appreciated.

First, these words were written by a mother to her son (King Lemuel)! (Proverbs 31:1) They were written to guide him in his quest for a wife. So we know, right away, she was speaking of an ideal wife. Few women could live up to every quality described in this passage.

Second, most scholars believe this description to be a summary of the life-role of a mother and a wife. Obviously there are times in our lives where the most "pressing" needs take the greatest "precedence." A woman with small children doesn’t have time to "make sashes" or "plant a vineyard!" At other times in her life she is more free to "buy a field and stretch out her hand to the poor!" Paul gives credence to this view when he lists the qualities of a widow who is worthy to be supported by the church. She was to be "well reported for good works; having brought up children, lodged strangers, washed the saint’s feet, relieved the afflicted and followed every good work." To qualify—she had to be at least 60! (I Timothy 5:9-10)

What I do believe that Proverbs 31 does emphasize is relationships. A wife and a mother’s true virtue is revealed in how she deals with the relationships God entrusts her with. Relationships that can and should be prioritized! They are—in order of importance: First, her relationship to God. "A woman who fears the Lord shall be praised." Second, her relationship to her husband. "The heart of her husband safely trusts in her. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Third, her relationship to her children and in making a home for her family. "She brings her food from afar. She is not afraid of snow for her household. Fourth, her relationship to those she serves as she serves God. "She stretches out her hands to the poor. She opens her mouth with kindness and wisdom." Fifthly, she takes care of herself. "She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen."

The truth is all of these relationships emanate from one. She loves God! Her love of God shows itself in the fruit of her good works.

So, to all wives and mothers, there is good news to be had. God doesn't expect you to "have it all" or be able to "do it all." Do what you can—when you can. Enjoy each season of your life. In doing so, God will be pleased and those who are most important in your life, your family, will be blessed.

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." (Author Unknown)

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